Born John Henry Stanville at the turn of the 19th Century. Stanville had an uneventful childhood growing up in rural Manchester. From humble beginnings (his father, Roger Stanville an aspiring electrician and his mother Princess Abuki Stanville a Nigerian Princess in exile) John developed a keen interest in ‘folding’. ‘Folding’ (a pastime now long forgotten) was extremely popular in the mid 1900’s amongst boys with larger than average testicles. Educated at the respected convent school St.Brice he was expelled aged 5 for being male and in consideration of him poisoning a Sister with ‘meat buttons’ under the pretence they had been made by his mother. They were in fact small stools he passed earlier that day. There followed a period of turmoil in the young Stanville’s life when he was convicted of throwing a flip flop at a horse carrying music hall and radiogram star Alan ‘The Lad’ Bickerman. Bickerman famous for his ‘are they all this black, mother?’ catchphrase was violently thrown from the horse landing on a solid iron pole that cut him right up (what was referred to at the time) as his ‘nanna’s promise’. An old woman buffeting the pole was also killed. In consideration of this assault and that he once sent a dog shit in the shape of a penis to Queen Victoria he was sent away from the family to board in a youth offender institute. He was schooled at Doncaster’s Fairmount Young Offenders Institute. Unlike many, Stanville excelled through the system there and left with many qualifications (including GCSE Maths & English) and a glowing report from the board of govenors. Seeds had already been sown in his last year of custody that a career in the Armed Forces would be an option to suit and on leaving Fairmount he joined the 4th Battalion Kings Own Ablution Division stationed in Cheltenham. Several tours with the battalion followed supporting the lavatorial needs of visiting members of the Royal Family and he was given rank after special engagemenThe Colonel was born John Henry Stanville at the turn of the 19th Century. Stanville had an uneventful childhood growing up in rural Manchester. From humble beginnings (his father, Roger Stanville an aspiring electrician and his mother, Princess Abuki Stanville a Nigerian Princess in exile), John developed a keen interest in ‘folding. ‘Folding’, (a pastime now long forgotten) was extremely popular in the mid 1900’s amongst boys with larger than average testicles. Educated at the respected convent school St.Brice he was expelled aged 5 for being both male and in consideration of his poisoning a Sister with ‘meat buttons’ under the pretence that they had been made by his mother, whilst in fact being small stools he passed earlier that day.

There followed a period of turmoil in the young Stanville’s life when he was convicted of throwing a flip-flop at a horse which happened to be carrying, music hall and radiogram star, Alan ‘The Lad’ Bickerman. Bickerman, famous for his “are they all this black, mother?” catchphrase, was violently thrown from the horse, landing on a solid iron pole that cut him right up (what was referred to at the time as his ‘nanna’s promise’). An old woman buffeting the pole was also killed. In consideration of this assault, on top of the fact that he once sent a dog shit in the shape of a penis to Queen Victoria, he was sent away from the family to board at Doncaster’s Fairmount Young Offenders Institute. Unlike many, Stanville excelled through the system there and left with many qualifications (including GCSE Maths & English) and a glowing report from the board of governors. Seeds had already been sown in his last year of custody that a career in the Armed Forces would be an option to suit and on leaving Fairmount he joined the 4th Battalion, Kings Own Ablution Division, stationed in Cheltenham. Several tours with the battalion followed supporting the lavatorial needs of visiting members of the Royal Family, and he was given rank after special engagements with incontinence for King George VI. By World War II. Stanville had attained the rank of Colonel and was now direct attaché to all Royal persons whilst carrying out ablutionary tasks when visiting theatre. Stanville was decorated in 1954 for his wartime services to anal hygiene.

Having left the forces in 1962, he was now staying in London. During this time he visited a friend from Fairmount, Paul ‘Pauley’ Winters. Winters was by now a key player in the booming sex industry in Soho and he explained in detail his success to Stanville. Not long after, Stanville took up the offer of ‘Hygiene & Towelling Director’ for Winters' chain of bars and clubs in the capital. Stanville was responsible for a range of innovations which became indispensable to the burgeoning adult cinemas in the capital, his greatest achievement being the toilet roll dispenser fixed to all chairs throughout Winters Theatres. Pauley went on to sell his Theatre group in the mid 90’s to the 'Get it Up em Entertainment Group' and, with an option on his shares, Stanville retired a wealthy man. This allowed him to devote himself vigorously to his favourite past-times of meeting open minded mammals and engaging in ‘exotic travel’. Throughout the course of these varying trips and adventures to foreign climbs Stanville became known solely as ‘The Colonel’ - a direct result of the two words being easier to pronounce in court correspondence by his legal representatives throughout Far East Asia. Now, in his later years, The Colonel has begun a new chapter by accepting the offer of recording his 'audio autobiography’ with former Winters Review regulars, Tony Swain and Rik Lake at the helm.ts on incontinence for King George VI. By World War II, Stanville had attained the rank of Colonel and was direct attaché to all Royal persons when carrying our ablutionary tasks when visiting theatre. Stanville was decorated in 1954 for his wartime services to anal hygiene. He retired from the armed forces in 1962. At this time whilst staying in London he visited a friend from ‘Fairmount’ Paul ‘Pauley’ Winters. Winters was by now a key player in the booming sex industry in Soho and explained in detail his success to Stanville. Not long after Stanville took up the offer of ‘Hygiene & Towelling Director’ for Winters chain of bars and clubs in the capital. Stanville was responsible for a range of innovations through the burgeoning adult cinemas in the capital with his greatest achievement being the toilet roll dispenser fixed to all chairs throughout Winters Theatres. Pauley went on to sell his Theatre group in the mid 90’s to the Get it Up em Entertainment Group and with an option on his shares Stanville retired a wealthy man. This allowed him to devote himself vigorously to his favourite pastime of meeting open minded mammals and ‘exotic travel’. Through the course of these varying trips and adventures to foreign climbs Stanville became known solely as ‘The Colonel’. A direct result of the two words being easier to pronounce in court correspondence by his legal representatives throughout Far East Asia. Now in his later years The Colonel has begun a new chapter by accepting the offer of recording his audio ‘autobiography’ with former Winters Review regulars, Tony Swain and Rik Lake at the helm.

Featured on the following Love Love Records releases:
LOVCD03
LOVCD00

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